The Sensitive Man

Link to medium page: https://gabriel-92857.medium.com/

Sensitivity is a trait that has often been shunned in society. Mothers telling their children to stop crying, fathers dictating their son’s career path, teachers telling their students to toughen up and do the work. The list on the imperatives people take to “correct” sensitivity is endless. This trait is, of course, experienced by both males and females. However, for the purposes of this article, I wish to talk about the sensitive man and the unique challenges that this two-word combination brings.

If we go all the way back to the industrial revolution, the leading countries in Europe and North America were experiencing a dramatic shift in work culture. As the decades went by, efficiency and productivity were slowly becoming a glorified asset in every industry. The worker who was able to produce the most in the least amount of time was heralded as the top employee. In Stalinist Russia for example, a miner named Alexey Stakhanov got awarded the highest orders from the Russian government for being the most efficient laborer. Meanwhile, those who weren’t able to adhere to these new industrial standards were left behind. They couldn’t keep up. Therefore, they lost their jobs. But the industrial revolution is not about people losing jobs is it? It’s about the massive growth in employment and productivity. And here is where the issue lies. Because this new work culture became so demanding and bled into what we now call capitalism, many laborers had to fit into a mold that was certain to destroy them. Some of these men, as we see them today in big corporations and banks, do not have the appropriate character traits that allows them to sustain this type of work, namely, the constant occultation of sensitivity.

This revolution goes along with increasing market competition, which then gives way to more unreachable standards for many men, especially those who have high sensitivity. By a process of social acceptability and performance, many of us end up shaming males for not being in the same wavelength as the system itself. In other words, the system creates the stereotypical masculinity that defies any notion of sensitivity.

And what does this mean for the sensitive man? Well, if a society is built for maximum output and male-driven stoicism, the “softer” males will have a significantly harder experience in dealing with such a space. They will be forced to shut down and turn on their robotic functioning mode.

Sadly, many men today, even those in high white-collar positions, hide their sensitivity to achieve recognition and acceptance. Some even live their entire lives by ignoring their true nature because they never get the courage to speak out about their innermost desires. However, I do concur that honoring one’s essence is very hard. Men have to understand that even if they are being dishonest with themselves, there is always an opportunity to change, however small or big that change might be.

Perhaps, the biggest piece of knowledge that I can bring to this discussion is that sensitivity does not equal weakness or lack of motivation! Through my insistence on therapeutic methods, I came to realize that what people assume is a hindrance to one’s character, is actually a divine gift. No one better to exemplify this statement than the great artists of our time. From Franz Liszt’s melodious concertos to Dream Theater’s stunning lyricism, these patrons of creativity thrived, and continue to do so, by their willingness to explore sensitivity in a superbly productive manner. That is not to say that other professionals such as bankers or engineers should infuse these abstractive ideals to their professions. Instead, they should maintain the core attributes that allows them to succeed in these positions while leaving space for sensitivity to roam unguarded in the flowery fields of consciousness.

One brilliant example of how to create this balancing act is to actively engage in cognitive therapy! In a utopian society, all men (and women) should invest in therapy, but it is precisely the tough, emotionless, sturdy men that need it most, for the development of a man that is both stoic and sensitive is the progressive fuel needed to dismantle the systemic and socio-cultural masculine norms solidified throughout history!

Thanks for reading!